Published to Reddit‘s infamous r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/damnedrascal told her story to the “AITA” community to see if she was in the wrong. The post has 5,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The Redditor explained that she has been seeing her boyfriend for about two and a half years and has made it clear that she does not want children, ever. He always tells her that they “can talk about it when the time comes.” The original poster (OP) knows that her boyfriend wants kids in the future and suggested that they break up so he can find someone who wants to have children. He said that was fine with not having kids as long as he was with her. However, her boyfriend’s parents want grandchildren in the future since he is their only child.
She wrote, “So yesterday I’m sitting and having dinner with his dad and we start talking about school shootings and the state of the world for children. I take this opportunity to say that I don’t ever plan to bring a child into the world and will never have kids.”
Many Americans today do not want children. According to a study done by Pew Research Center says about 44 percent of people aged 18 to 49 say they are unlikely to have children.
“Surprisingly, his dad did not seem to care at all, he even agreed with me on my reasoning for not having them, he joked that his wife would be heartbroken to never be a grandmother but agreed that it was ultimately my decision,” she continued.
Her boyfriend heard them and got upset with her comment.
“During the conversation I said ‘yeah so I just don’t think motherhood is for me’ and my boyfriend said ‘yeah you’ve made that abundantly f**king clear, it’s all you’ve been talking about this entire conversation,'” she explained.
When they were alone, he was ignoring her. She finished her post by explaining that she doesn’t feel that she did anything wrong by being honest with one of her boyfriend’s parents and that she doesn’t want children and doesn’t want to give him or his family “false hope” that she might change her mind one day.
The Reddit community was quick to defend the OP in the comment section.
U/DogsReadingBooks received the top comment with 14,000 upvotes, “[Not the A**hole]. But you do know that he’s waiting for you to change your mind, right?”
“Or for an accident to happen,” u/Frozen_Twinkies replied.
“Yep. I’d be very careful with birth control. Especially condoms, make sure he doesn’t puncture them or stealth or something,” u/DogsReadingBooks warned the OP.
“[Not the A**hole]. Unfortunately it seems like your bf was realllly hoping you’d change your mind one day because you love him so much, and he just realized that will never happen. I would prepare yourself for a breakup,” u/Aw_bull_nuts said.
“[Not the A**hole], he seems the type to ignore what you want and pressure you when ‘the time comes,'” u/CynfulPrincess wrote.
U/semcg exclaimed, “[Not the A**hole]. But breakup already. Clear you want different things. Unless hes jumping for joy in agreement you are just wasting each others times.”
“[Not the A**hole]. But this doesn’t sound like the right relationship for either of you,” u/Unpopable_Bubble said.
Newsweek reached out to u/damnedrascal for comment.